I was born into a broken family. My mother and father parted ways when my mother was expecting me. When I was a few years old, my elder sister and I were brought to Sophia’s Home, where we grew up in a safe and friendly environment. Through all my years in Sophia’s Home, I was an average kid and did fine in my studies. Together with the other sisters, we attended devotions and Church services. We enjoyed one another’s company and, more importantly, loved to worship God.
During my teenage years, I did poorly in school and failed almost every school term examination. Although I got along with the sisters, I was arrogant and rude to my guardians and parents. I knew Jesus only as the superhuman and God from the Bible. God meant absolutely nothing to me except for the times I had to complain about my heartbreaks and difficult times. I felt like my life was going nowhere, although I had heard multiple messages about how God chose us individually to be in Sophia’s Home and that we were loved, special, and precious. I received all those messages with contempt because I could not understand it as I thought I was imperfect. Whilst I was in college, although I was baptised, and attended and served in all kinds of church services and meetings, I did not know God personally.
My turning point was during Holy Week in April 2014, when I heard this one Nepali song which says: “pain was yours, peace is mine, and yet it isn’t my own earning” and “crowned with thorns, hands, and feet nailed to the cross, you were sacrificed; guiltless lamb for my sake.” While singing that song, I realised how deeply I was loved despite being imperfect. He would suffer pain for my peace. It was then that I realised that Jesus died for me, for all my sins, my pride, my arrogance, my failures, and my weaknesses. He bore that pain and suffering on the cross, completely alienated from His own Father so that I would not need to experience it. I was in tears because I could not contain God’s love for me. I was too undeserving for such great affection.
From that moment, I found joy in all the little things. I realised how joyful I felt while serving in Church. I did not feel useless anymore. Serving in Church brought a new meaning to my life. I wanted to know God for who He is. God no longer felt distant to me. I now have a special and loving relationship with Him. Gradually, I realised what sanctification is all about; being transformed in all areas of my life. My guardians were amazed when I did very well in my studies and topped my class. No one had ever thought that I would become who I am today. Since that day, I have committed my life to Him. For I am nothing and can do nothing without God. I am grateful that He chose me to know and experience Him as my heavenly Father. Every year during Holy Week, I reflect upon that experience that transformed my life, and the time that God spoke to me through that song. I cannot thank Him enough for His grace. If God did not hesitate to give Himself so I could have life in abundance, I, too, will not hesitate to give my life to His service and glory. All I am is because of God’s “Amazing Grace”.